


AL Things Mirandy

by ZoS



Series: Mirandy from A to Z [1]
Category: The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Genre: A-Z, Drabble Collection, Established Relationship, F/F, Family, Fluff, Humor, Prompt Fic, Romance, otp prompts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-10-17 05:37:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17554385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZoS/pseuds/ZoS
Summary: A collection of short drabbles for an OTP prompt meme.





	AL Things Mirandy

**Author's Note:**

> No, the title is not a typo. This is me wanting to do that A-Z meme and also OTP prompts and inadvertantly combining them.
> 
> So this is Mirandy from A to L ( _or_ Al(l) Things Mirandy).

**Ancient**

Miranda Priestly is no fool. She knows that she isn't getting any younger and she knows that the industry she rules with an iron fist values, above all else, youth.

Her hair started greying very early on in her life, and before she turned 50, it was already nearly completely white. Fortunately for her, she managed to make lemonade out of lemons and turned it into a trademark that everybody wanted and nobody dared to emulate.

Then her breasts began to sag, already slightly uneven from countless feedings, and her stomach unmistakably shows the former residence of not one, but two babies. To her relief, no stretch marks ever appeared on her body, but the skin is far from taut and smooth like it used to be.

Her legs are beginning to get pale and veiny, her neck wrinkled, and the bags under her eyes more pronounced. Soon, the skin on her upper arms will get flappy, the lines from years of frowning and pursing her lips will deepen, and more moles and freckles will form on her face and chest.

And at some point, all the beauty products, couture, spanx, and push-up bras won't go far enough to hide her age.

Not when her memory starts to go and her hearing becomes more impaired and her walk slows down. Not when Andrea, half her age and breathtakingly gorgeous, reminds her every day of what she's not and never will be again.

By the time Andrea catches up to her, Miranda will be six feet under--in the best case scenario. Worst case scenario would be pumping herself full of silicon and implants like all those sad, sorry women she's always mocked. Yet featured in her magazine to capitalize off of.

Nevertheless, aging is inevitable and it's something that's beginning to keep Miranda up at night. Or maybe that's the insomnia that comes with getting older.

One thing she does not know, though, is that Andrea adores her just the way she is and can't wait to grow old right alongside her.

  
**Blanket Hog**

Andy huffs and yanks at the edge of the blanket, at this point not even worried about waking Miranda. It would serve her right, after making Andy freeze for three whole hours.

Here's the thing about Miranda: she's gotten so used to sleeping alone (preferred it, really, until Andy changed her mind with morning sex and the best cuddles of her life) that she doesn't know how to share her bed. Or her blanket.

It drives Andy crazy. Every night--every single night--Miranda hogs the blanket. She has so much! It's a huge blanket, bigger than the king size bed, yet Miranda finds a way to wrap it all around herself like some selfish sushi and leave Andy to shiver on her exposed side of the bed.

That's why she never suggests that Miranda stay the night at her place. Her blanket is even smaller.

  
**Crust**

"I'm full," Miranda sighs, throwing her pizza crust back onto her plate.

"But you didn't eat the crust," Andy remarks. She supposes she should be proud of Miranda for eating _Domino's Pizza_ in the first place, but she only had two slices--sans one crust.

"It's just a crust, Andrea, and it's way too thick," Miranda says calmly (even though when Andy asked her what kind of crust she wanted her to order, she flapped her hand and claimed to not care). "It's the worst part of the pizza."

How _dare_ she? There is no such thing as "worst part of the pizza," Andy thinks incredulously as she drags Miranda's plate toward herself and picks up the crust. "You're just weak and natural selection's coming for you."

Miranda raises an imperious eyebrow at her, but she doesn't care because she's already wolfing down mankind's greatest creation.

  
**Dogs**

When Miranda hears sniffling, she turns to see Andrea covering her quivering lips, her eyes red-rimmed and moist. "Are you _crying_?"

Andrea looks back at her and the tears start coming. "How are you not?" she counters in a choked voice.

Miranda frowns, her eyes wide. "Andrea, this is a _dog commercial_."

  
**Excuses, Excuses**

"Ha! What a loser!" Andy says as her car passes Caroline's.

"That's not fair!" Caroline punches the button on her controller harder. "You distracted me."

"Excuses, excuses," Andy sing-songs, tilting her entire body to the side as she swerves. "Keep your head in the game or get wrecked. Yes!" she calls upon crossing the finish line and sticks her tongue out. "How about that? I win; you lose."

Caroline grits her teeth and plops back against the back of the couch. "I'm never playing video games with you again."

  
**Footloose**

Miranda rolls her eyes and forces herself to stare out of the car window so she doesn't snap, but then Andrea hits a high note--or, more accurately, doesn't hit it--which makes her voice crack and Miranda's ears bleed.

"Andrea, please stop."

"Uh-uh-uh." Andrea shakes her finger at her, still moving her body to the beat of the song. "Remember what we said: driver gets to pick the music _and_ sing."

"I have no problem with you picking the music, but darling, you can't sing."

"Yes, I can!" she argues.

"You're butchering the song," Miranda replies dryly.

"I love this song," Andrea insists, as if that has anything to do with anything.

"You were in diapers when it came out."

"Nope." She smiles that cheeky smile that makes Miranda want to kiss her and smack her at the same time. "I was potty-trained pretty early on."

Miranda inhales deeply through her nostrils, bunching her hands into fists. "For heaven's sake, Andrea, I can't stand this squeaking and screeching all the way to the Hamptons."

Andrea's infuriating response is to turn the volume up and sing right into Miranda's face, " _Jack, get back, come on before we crack / Lose your blues, everybody cut footloose._ "

  
**Gingerbread Disaster**

Shit, shit, shit. Miranda is going to kill her. And kick her out of the house. She's going to kill her, _then_ kick her out of the house.

Andy is fucked. So fucking fu--

"What's going on here?" Miranda enters the kitchen with wide eyes and Andy freezes, her mitten stopping mid-wave in front of the oven. Then she squeaks.

"What happened to my kitchen?" Miranda asks, looking outraged.

Andy drops the mitten on the countertop and sighs. "Okay, so here's the thing: there was a little accident--"

"Accident?!"

She chances a few tentative steps toward Miranda, grimacing. "See, what happened is I tried to make some cookies--"

"Andrea, you burned my oven!" Miranda points at the smoking appliance, managing to be horrifyingly terrifying without even raising her voice.

Andy shrugs her shoulder slightly. She knows she's walking on thin ice, but she says anyway, "Technically, I burned the cookies, not the oven..." Miranda's murderous expression makes her falter.

"What on earth possessed you to make cookies in the first place? That's what we have a cook for."

"I know, but I wanted to surprise the twins for Christmas. And you. They were gingerbread men. I even used a sugar-free recipe." Miranda visibly deflates at her words, which gives her some hope that perhaps she'll live another day.

"But then I thought of a really good start for my article and accidentally got sucked into it, and next thing I knew, the smoke detector was going off."

She presses her lips together, giving Miranda her most miserable expression. Miranda's still glaring, but her shoulders are not so tense anymore. Sounding like she's forcing each word out, she asks, "Did you finish your article?"

And Andy knows that she's not in any real trouble.

  
**Humid**

"Andrea!" Miranda's voice rises just before she goes under, feeling her sarong cling to her body.

Upon resurfacing, she splashes and pushes her hair back and runs her hands across her wet face. "I am going to kill you," she says in her lowest, deadliest, scariest voice.

But it no longer works on Andrea, who smiles as she descends the pool steps, looking like a goddess in her white, one-piece bathing suit. "At least now you can't complain about the humidity anymore."

  
**I Had to**

"I had to," Andy defends herself before Miranda can reproach her.

Her girlfriend raises an eyebrow at her over her newspaper as she sets the shopping bags on the kitchen island, but she doesn't feel sorry, only slightly guilty.

Then again, she's still uncomfortable with letting Miranda's--and now hers, too--"servants" do all the jobs around the house when the two of them and the kids could easily accomplish those most simple tasks.

Plus the cook never gets the right kind of cheese Andy likes.

Miranda purses her lips, but then returns to her newspaper and just murmurs, "If you want to waste your time..."

  
**Jail**

The first time Andrea found a spider in their bathroom, she shrieked and Miranda thought there was an axe murderer in their house.

Instead, she found Andrea on top of the toilet seat, watching with a horror-stricken face as a creature no bigger than her fingernail traveled across the tiles.

"Get it out of here!" Andrea pleaded hysterically.

Miranda proceeded to watch the ridiculous scene for a few more moments before rolling her eyes and stepping on the tiny body with the tip of her _Gucci_ shoe.

"No!" Andrea cried out, making her frown.

"What?"

"You killed it!"

"Isn't that what you wanted?" she asked slowly as Andrea stepped down from the toilet.

Saddened, she said, "Well, I didn't want it to die, just to stay away from me."

So now Miranda traps the spiders Andrea finds under the nearest container, to be released later, despite the face Andrea then pulls before saying, "I mean, I feel kind of bad. It's like spider jail."

Exasperatedly, she will ask, "Would you rather I kill it? Or set it free right here?"

And Andrea will raise her hands in surrender and step back. "Carry on."

  
**Kicking and Screaming**

Miranda is a morning person. She wakes up every morning immediately ready to start her day, even if she only slept for a few hours.

Andy has to be dragged out of bed kicking and screaming.

At night, though, she's a party animal. Well, she doesn't exactly go clubbing or gets wasted, but she _will_ keep the whole house awake if there's a _Harry Potter_  marathon on TV (that even the twins don't feel like watching after 11 P.M.) or if she suddenly gets the urge to bake cookies.

And then Miranda, tired and grumpy and wanting to go to bed, will stay mad all day the next day and withhold sex.

  
**Loving Andrea**

When she finally decides to do it, Miranda doesn't know how.

She's always had it done to her and didn't shed a tear, most likely because she didn't feel much of anything.

Now she doesn't want it to be too much of a cliché because that's not who she is. And not who Andrea is.

Andrea doesn't like being showered with expensive gifts and attending ritzy events. She's humble and simple and, for once, Miranda will choose simplicity as well.

"Get us the apple pie from the fridge, will you?" she asks calmly, even though her heart is pounding.

Andrea gets up and clears their dinner plates in the process. When she returns with the pie, two dessert plates, and two forks, there's a small, velvety box waiting where her plate was earlier.

She stops in her tracks and gapes. Miranda worries she'll drop the items in her hands. Then she looks up at Miranda, who gives her an intent look and a raised eyebrow. She even allows the corner of her lips to quirk into a smile.

Andrea carefully places everything on the table and falls into her chair. "Is that..." she whispers, fingering the velvet but not opening the box.

"Open it," Miranda urges softly. Her chest feels tight.

Andrea does, and gasps. "Really?" Her voice is even softer, and choked. And she's looking at Miranda again with those big, expressive eyes, and the love that shines in them calms her down. She knows now what Andrea's answer will be.

She nods serenely, her smile growing. "Really," she says quietly.

Andrea draws a deep, shaky breath, then extracts the diamond ring from its cushioned home. Her smile is tremulous but huge as she cups Miranda's cheek and whispers, "Yes."

**Author's Note:**

>  **The prompts:**  
>  •Who worries about what they will look like when they are older?  
> •Who hogs the blanket?  
> •Who eats the other's uneaten pizza crusts?  
> •Who is more likely to cry over a sad book or movie?  
> •Who talks smack while playing video games?  
> •Who sings along with the radio?  
> •Who would accidentally set the kitchen on fire while cooking?  
> •Who would throw the other into a pool?  
> •Who shops for groceries?  
> •Who kills the spiders?  
> •Who is the morning/night person?  
> • _Who proposes?_
> 
> I may have taken some liberty with some of these.


End file.
